end scene...

I look at this picture and cannot believe that its me and not lifted from a bridal magazine/website/etc...


(photo by dantewilliams.com & colormekatie.com)

and thats why you cant get caught up.  during the day prior to and the day of the wedding, about a ton of things went wrong...  from flowers that were half dead & the wrong color to details we spent all sorts of time & money on that were never even seen by our guests (for various reasons), to other things - there were issues.

there are issues at every wedding - but all the rest of us see are the magazine-worthy pictures...  and we obsess with having everything be just as perfect as we see in those pictures, but i can tell you - this picture?  this perfect picture?  it wasnt posed.  i'm not looking down thoughtfully...  my other hand is probably trying to grab my train since my bustle was broken within about 5 minutes and i'm probably trying to wipe some of the central park dirt off of my dress or avoid stepping in dog crap...

but what do you see?  you see this picture of perfection.  this picture of little old imperfect me that has been viewed thousands and thousands of times and landed on inspiration boards already.  this picture that, for the rest of my life, will make it look like i had a magazine-worthy wedding.  and you know what?  I did.  because sure, a million things went wrong, and if you want to pick it apart to satisfy your own competitive spirit, you can.

but you know what didnt go wrong?  we got married.  to a string trio playing the foo fighters & the beatles.  in central park.  with a party in the most dramatic reception space i've ever seen.  we planned a fun reception where the only way people didnt have fun and dance is if they didnt want to (we all know those people - dont let them dictate the rest of your wedding!)  every time i saw something going astray, i asked myself, does this change whether anyone is having fun?  as long as the answer was no (and it always was - custom cocktail napkins dont actually contribute to fun) i decided to not waste even another second thinking about it...

because, in the end, those issues didnt matter...  weddings shouldnt be about egos or impressing people - they are about two people getting married & then celebrating the best way they know how.  and anyone who is at your wedding for the right reasons feels that way too.

and as long as you remember that, every wedding is magazine-worthy.

breathe...

i do not recommend wedding planning the way we are doing it to anyone.

because, oh my god, the projects.

things we have taken on:
dessert buffet/candy favor table
champagne cocktail & cider-spiking table
pre-ceremony snacks
all signage for ceremony & reception inc. programs
all flowers (i have NO background in floral arrangement, by the way...)
my veil
ketubah design & printing

huh.  writing it all down there makes it seem WAY less daunting as a lot of those things are under control already...  so why the hell am i so stressed out???

oh yeah, cause under control does not = done...  we still have to FINISH this shit...

not for the faint of heart...

this wedding planning business - its for the birds.

or at least for the less-opinionated...

last night we spent 3 hours or so thinking we had to redo our centerpieces.

centerpieces that we had hammered out back in like, February.

after 3 hours of deliberations, we realized we were sticking with the original plan.

seriously?  i'd like those 3 hours back, please...

However, 4 weeks out is looking significantly better than 5 weeks out did...  even with those 3 hours lost...
still would like to lose 10lbs but i've come to terms with it...  we still dont have a florist, but i dont know if i need one anymore - centerpiece designs are DONE...  we've got the room layout, the kehtuba is nearly done, the logo is final, the videographer resurfaced, the tablecloths are ordered (and cheaper than expected!  woo!)  Programs have been mentally designed - just need to have a final meeting with the minister, as have menus, pending final caterer meeting, which is scheduled...

and just for fun?  i added in a makeup lesson.  you know, cause i wasnt busy enough...

 

what do you mean its less than 5 weeks away?

hold on, let me get this straight...  in less 5 weeks, the wedding will be a memory...

say what?

i've had no alterations on my dress, still have 10lbs more to lose (pipe dream, that one), no florist, no centerpieces, it appears my tablecloths have been discontinued, my videographer quit, we have no limos, no logo, no programs, no menus, only half of the dessert planned out, no room layout, no photobooth props, no bridal party gifts, no kehtuba, no readings, my veil isnt done, jewelry isnt picked out.

and i'm supposed to hold down a job while finishing it all up?

seriously???

now we both hate the wedding.

the problem with being this close is that now, all of those projects that we'd do later - they have to be done now.

and last week, i got caught up in what has to be the most insane, out of control, pointless wedding project ever.

envelope liners.

no one except myself and other recent/soontobe brides will even notice that the envelope liners are there.  no one will care.  i dont even care - until i do.  because the place we were originally going to order these invites from - they had lined envelopes.  and then the place we ended up ordering from - they didnt.  I wouldnt have even given them a second thought except that first we had them and then we didnt.  so now, i obsess over the exact angle to cut the exact paper (which, it turns out, is actually a bit too dark - grr...) and the exact attachment method...

last night i cut 75 sheets of paper into perfect 8 5/8 by 7 inch squares and then angled them up a total of about 3/8" or so to mimic the line of the inner envelope.  the inner envelope alone makes this project insanely stupid - an inner envelope is already a bit fancy and really, should just be ENOUGH.

I still have to do this at least 30 more times...

but i cant stop - oh no, all the wedding messageboards - they mock me.  they make envelope liners seem FUN!  DETAIL-COOL!  SO-IMPORTANT!  HOW COULD YOU NOT?

in all of this, i've realized one thing - i dont care about a perfect day, dont care about everything going off without a hitch...  what i care about is that no one thinks we cheaped out on anything.  because we didnt, but at the same time, in a world where people expect PLATINUM WEDDINGS and DAVID TUTERA makeovers, everything that isnt 100% top of the line high class - it somehow seems sub-par...  and we've spent a lot of time and money on this day - these 7 or so hours - and i would be horrified if somehow, all of that time and money and effort was judged to be anything less than awesome.  (not perfect, but awesome.  big difference)

all of this introspection from a little paper-cutting...  makes you wonder how anyone makes it out of wedding planning alive...

progress, progress, progress

i guess its something about knowing its less than 5 months away? or maybe its just that we've had enough of a break?  not sure, but this weekend seemed like progress.

bridesmaid dresses are all picked out.
my wedding band is purchased, his, we'll be looking at this week.
invitations are chosen.
my jewelry may be chosen.
my reception shoes may be chosen.

sure there are still some big - really big - things to figure out, but that was a LOT of progress for one little weekend!!!

(also, did i mention that we'd found string musicians with flexibility?  how exciting is that!?!?!)

i vote evite

i do not care about invitations.

repeat, i do not care about invitations.  dont want to spend the time to DIY, dont want to spend the $ for someone else to do it.  dont care, dont want to spend money.

yet, whether i care or not, i have to have them.  I've tried to pawn the task off on others but i keep failing - no one has come back with anything yet.

seriously, if only grandma would learn how to read email, i'd evite it and blame my hippie-dippy-crunchy-granola side (claiming green-ness) and be done with it!!!